Reply to So if you’re not in a “deep love” marriage...

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't know but that thread is making me depressed :( I want that and hoped to have it and I just don't. We are not in love like that and I don't think we ever will be.

[/quote]

Op here. Me too. I’d always always hoped and prayed I’d experience deep love. I’ve been dreaming of it since I was 14!

[b]I’m a romantic dreamy person[/b] and I feel like I’m being forced to swallow a bitter reality.[/quote]

Maybe this is your problem? I am in that thread and my husband is not like...swooning all over me all the time. There aren't big romantic gestures and we have pretty low expectations of each other. I think people who have a preconceived notion of what deep romantic love is struggle to find it and perhaps struggle to identify it when they see it.

[b]For us, it is simply a deep and profound appreciation for the other person, it isn't candles and roses and making out on the stairwells. Not saying this is what you believe but perhaps it could contribute. 
[/b]
I think I found this relationship by practicing gratitude in my daily life and kind of teaching my husband how to do that by example. That daily practice allows me to really appreciate and love him for who he is, flaws and all. We don't live a fairytale, we just live our lives and are very grateful for the opportunity to do so with each other. [/quote]

PP here. Who is writing that? Mostly they have been talking about what you're talking about - true comfort where you can say anything, a high level of respect and even admiration, trust, commitment, security, loyalty, genuinely liking the other person and WANTING to spend more time with them, etc. etc. And physical attraction and frequent sex. I don't have a lot of that with my husband (especially the good sex part). But no one's been talking about needing a weekly flower delivery or something.[/quote]

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