Reply to Men: Life changes after marriage/kids

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[quote=Anonymous]You know the obvious schedule changes of course, but it's the feelings that differ. I often think about this when I'm on business trips -- bc there are usually hordes of guys on the road, away from families etc.

There are guys for whom getting married and having kids gave them a certain "purpose." Even if they are stressed between balancing work and family and being a hands on dad and providing financially, these are the guys that desire the stability of someone to come home to. They see more "purpose" in their work bc now they have kids to feed and more purpose in life bc they've got kids to teach/raise. They're a lot like brisket guy above. These are the guys that'll talk about their kids and sometimes lament being away and as the kids get past age 10 they say things like "the days are long but the years are short" -- bc they're clearly thinking about how the kids will be in college soon and it'll be so different.

Then there are the guys who had kids but you can tell they feel like the wife and family "held them back." They wonder about how much higher they could have risen up the career ladder or how much more money/energy/sleep they would've had without kids. Sure they love their kids but they can picture life without a wife and kids and don't think it's bad at all -- to be able to come home to a one bedroom whenever you want and do what you want. They don't necessarily crave that stability and that feeling of walking into a house that is a home. Often these are the guys who are envious of the single guys on the team; they're the ones who roll their eyes when they tell you then need to fly in for the business trip on Monday morning rather than Sunday night or leave Thurs. night rather than Friday morning bc of some kid activity or whatever.

I think there are some guys who crave a family life since they pretty much moved out of their parents' home so for them it's a slam dunk to have a wife and family. I think there are many many others who assume -- wife + kids is normal so they do it -- often due to societal pressure but then when the kids arrive they realize the drudgery really isn't worth it, feel held back and then end up sort of stuck. [/quote]

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