Reply to How should I act towards ILs after disagreement?

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[quote=Anonymous]Nice OP, I'm glad DCUM has been helpful to you.

I would just suggest that you think of your relationship with them in a way that is non-engaging.  Riight now, you're mad (justifiably!) and you're saying things like you are growing a backbone, standing up for yourself, etc.  And your question had to do with how to act.

I'd suggest dropping the thought that it is adversarial.  I'd also drop the thought that they'll ever apologize. They will never apologize.

The person who advised you to that like a professional relationship is closest, I think - polite, even charming and friendly, but closed off.

It's a bit like gray rock, but more engaged - with my in-laws, who are very similar, i just remind myself that they have shown me their true colors, they are not on my side or ever going to give me the benefit of the doubt, and they are not my "friends."  I can't trust them.  The only times now when I get grief from my in-laws is when i let my guard down and actually try talking to my MIL as a confidant or friend.  I'm nearly guaranteed to say something I later regret.  I have to keep it superficial, light, surface, while also being friendly.  [/quote]

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