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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
This is a test situation, so be courteous on your end, and observe their attitude so that you can decide on what to do in the future. I would be really angry too, OP, so I would definitely not be warm and fuzzy, but I would make a point of being there, since I invited them.
[/quote]

Yes this.  I'd expect them to act a little nervous but also like nothing has happened.  Just be polite and distant.  That's usually my permanent mode while with my inlaws, who are a lot like yours.  They haven't done the direct bad mouthing, but I sure do know how my MIL feels.  She doesn't care about what we DO only what we do NOT do.  Basically since we don't try to see them every weekend, we don't love them.  She's been like this our entire marriage.  I cared a lot more about trying not to upset her before we had kids.  But once we had kids, I will do what's best for them, me and my DH and THEN her (in that order).  We've always welcomed her at our house, we do not keep the children from her, but we do not make all the effort to do the one hour drive back and forth.

She complains bitterly about having to drive, she complains that when she arrives at 11am (even though we always tell her 9/10am works best) the kids are getting ready for lunch and naps, she complains that there's too much traffic, she complains we are too strict with sleep schedules.  IDGAF.  If you want to see the grandkids, you'll deal, if you don't, fine.  We'll go to her when it's reasonable (normally holidays).  If I were you OP, I'd NEVER take the kids to go see them alone.  My nightmare is being alone with my MIL.  It's my DH's job to be there every time.  Occasionally I've gone out of town and he goes to her or has her come to our house.  That's the best scenario because I can get out of the visit all together.[/quote]

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