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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Very interesting article in today's NYT on the above. I'd love to hear others reactions.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html?rref=collection%2Fcolumn%2Fmodern-love&action=click&contentCollection=fashion&region=stream&module=stream_unit&version=latest&contentPlacement=1&pgtype=collection[/quote]
I read this. Stupid, navel gazing, clickbait. All of her “insights” are based on whatever these dudes told her. I actually can’t believe someone published this as you could learn more from reading dcum. [/quote]

+1  For one, I think she's naive for thinking that she was getting honest answers from them.  I mean, they're lying to their wives; what makes her think they're not lying to her?

Second, even if they weren't lying, her assumption seems to be "if only they could talk about it!"  I'm not sure that's true.  There are women who aren't interested in having sex with their spouse but also don't want their spouse to have sex with other people.  Just search DCUM and you'll find that.

There's also the assumption that the lack of desire in their wives is just because they want a "different kind of sex."  I'm not convinced of that.  I think in many cases, women married their husbands for a lot of reasons and none of them have to do with sex.  They probably didn't notice in the beginning because other things were able to cause them to be temporarily attracted to their husbands (the newness of the relationship, the desire to have children, etc.), but later they realize they were never really all that attracted to their husbands anyway.  Or they were once attracted to them, but that has faded.  Women like to find a million other reasons for not wanting to have sex with their husbands, but I think it's usually for the same reason men don't want to have sex with their wives: they're no longer (or never were) sexually/physically attracted to them.

But aside from all of that, it's possible that some of those men were lying, that the reality is they're no longer attracted or content with their wives sexually, but that doesn't garner sympathy from a woman they're trying to get with.

While I agree that couples should talk about sex, I think her article is kind of Pollyanna-ish with regard to the possibility of the talking actually resolving the underlying issues.[/quote]

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