Reply to I am divorced from a big law partner. AMA

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you have much smaller house now? Do you still have help? Did you lose your circle of friends after divorce?[/quote]

My house is smaller now, but plenty big enough. My ex said he would vote with his feet. If I wanted to leave, I could leave, but he was going to stay in our house, so that it would always feel like home to the kids when they came to see him. I thought that made a lot of sense on both fronts. I was able to buy a somewhat smaller house with proceeds from the splitting of the marital assets and child support payments. When the child support ended, I needed to downsize again, but it is still a decent-sized house. And I still stayed within a mile of the old house even though the kids were grown and it didn't really matter any more.

Do I still have help?? Did I mention that I ever had help? After the split, I never had a cleaning service again, and I'm not the best housekeeper, so that's been a bit of a problem but it's something I just need to work on. The kids were in school when we split and I worked part-time, so we did not need much after school help. Some relatives in the area helped as needed after school at first. I did lose the circle of big law friends.

Only one big law spouse friend called and got together after we split. We just got together that one time and that was it. I think it must have been a bit awkward for the big law friends and their spouses, since the big law partners were going to continue to work together and maybe they felt funny being friends with both of us. But honestly, I wasn't independent friends with most of them, just through my ex, so it's not surprising that they did not pursue an independent friendship with me. I still have a very close circle of my own friends predating my marriage, so I didn't miss the big law friends. But it did surprise me that more of them did not reach out to see how I was doing. But I did not contact them either. I think it was a mutual feeling that it would just be easier and cleaner to go our separate ways.
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