Reply to Imminent separation- will I ever feel "normal" again?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP it will get better

If it makes you feel better, know that many other women have been through this and come out happier. My DH also no longer loves me, and has told me that, but is staying in it for the kids. I don't love him either. It's a pretty bad situation. I would rather be alone but I dont have the courage. [/quote]

I'm the (optimistic?) poster ^ above, and your post made me sad for your situation. Sorry for the brief hijack...but I wonder if you've tried treating him as if he honestly were the guy you used to love? And by that I mean being especially thoughtful toward him, doing things for him, putting him first and just treating him like he's the love of your life? This was advice that was given to me when my marriage to DH was in a serious slump (and my initial response was a very resentful "why should I? He doesn't treat [i]me[/i] like I'm even visible!") but this very good counselor responded "because marriage isn't 50/50...it's 100/100. And if you're waiting for him to put in his part and meet you 'halfway' before doing yours, it's going to be a standoff that everyone will lose."
So I took a deep breath and committed to myself to do this for a month. A month where sometimes I saw a dramatic response and reciprocation and other days earlier on where I thought "why am I bothering"...before reminding myself that I was doing this for both of us, not just for him to return the treatment. Then I stayed with it. And things seriously got better. He even commented after a few weeks how thoughtful I was being toward him and that he appreciated it. (The underlying tone of course is that I hadn't been before, but I realized he was probably right b/c I was resentful.) 
Things aren't perfect. But they are better. And we both treat each other a lot better than before.

If he's staying anyway until the children are grown--and you don't plan to leave, why not make it a more pleasant situation and give it a shot?[/quote]

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