Reply to What to do about my work spouse?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What to do about my work spouse?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like consulting or something similarly self-important. [/quote]

Agree, I was going to say it sounds like consulting.

Either way OP, you need to take a step back and look at this logically. You're doing this thing where you make excuses for her and convince yourself that her behavior is caused by these extrinsic circumstances, but the fact of the matter is she is a grown adult, working at a job. Dealing with any emotional or personal reactions to work is her responsibility, full stop. If she's just consistently getting so stressed and emotional over this job that she needs to lean on coworkers for support multiple times a day, she is probably not in the right position.

But...that's not what it's really about. Come on, be smart. She is coming to you under the guise of work stress/needing support because it's a good excuse to be around you, and get your attention. It fosters this feeling of you two being "in it" together - she likes that you drop everything and give her your undivided attention and support on demand. And YOU like the feeling of being admired, of feeling useful and helpful and having your attentions sought out. She has a crush on you. You are flattered by her crush. This is not complicated. But if you don't nip it in the bud now...it will quickly become very complicated. If you cross a line, you can never undo it.

So decide: do you want to stay married? If so, you know what you need to do...even though it isn't fun because your ego is enjoying this attention. You need to start mentioning your wife, a lot, in conversation. That's a pretty blatant hint. And stop being her constant emotional support - be less available[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics