Reply to Husband feels our children's pain so intensely

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Husband feels our children's pain so intensely"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think people are wrong to describe this as “empathy.” Empathy is understanding the feelings of others. This is elevating your own feelings over those of others and making everything all about your feelings. It’s basically ignoring the other peoples’ feelings and needs because you’re so caught up in your own.

[/quote]

This is OP.  This is an interesting comment.  I’m not sure it rings true though.  He doesn’t share how he’s feeling with our kids.  He would probably worry that his feeling badly might cause them to feel badly.  He does try to help the kids with whatever they are going through or whatever he’s worried they might feel.  The kids don’t know he’s upset, but I know him very well.  For example, he’ll ask me 100 times after a bb game, “ do you think larlo’s Ok” but not in front of DS.  Or, I can see how anxious he is before the game bc he’s worrying it will go poorly for DS.  Yet, I wouldn’t describe him as generally empathetic either bc he’s not overly bothered if I or other people he cares about has a problem.[/quote]

[b]Don't you think they're going to start picking up on this at some point?[/b] A child who has a parent without healthy boundaries is not allowed to feel fully or be themselves fully, because on some level, they'll feel they need to keep from upsetting the parent. Your husband has a real anxiety issue, and perhaps could also stand to work on boundaries as they relate to the kids.[/quote]

x1000  OP, don't delude yourself that the children are not recognizing his behavior for what it is.  Children are so remarkably aware of the nuances of their parents moods.  Please encourage your husband to see some help so that he can be a better parent.  As it stands now your children may already be withholding information about their lives because of how they think Daddy will react.  That is not a good foundation for them as they become older and head into their tween and teen years.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics