Reply to My fiance died recently in a car accident

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "My fiance died recently in a car accident"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sorry, op. You need to look out for you right now. Don’t read any more texts or emails. You have enough to cope with. [/quote]

My fiance used to tell me all the time that when he was in a position to move off his parents' property that he wanted me to write his mother a letter describing in detail all the grief he caused both of us. He wanted to write the whole family off. There are times when I think I should do this because it was his wish. But I am just overcome with grief at the moment. Should I do it one day? I have so many mixed emotions. I feel like they didn't even respect what his wishes would have been in death. He would have wanted me at his memorial front and center. I begged his mother to let me help plan something. I even offered to pay for it. She acts like her grief is so much worse than mine. His family treated him like garbage. He was the scapegoat. He always told me about horrible memories of abuse he had at the hands of his parents. [/quote]

OP again. That was meant to say "all the grief SHE caused both of us" (not he). Although his father was also horrible at times. [/quote]

No, op. You need to walk away and let the past be in the past. He wouldn’t want you to engage in their toxicity. He would want you to move forward and be happy. Engaging with them will not bring you happiness

[/quote]

Yeah don’t engage further.

If, once you’ve healed a bit they reach out to you ina kind and respectful manner, you can decide to respond. Do not respond at all to rude messages. They are taking out their problems on you and there is no need for you to be a doormat.[/quote]

She requested that I send photos of him to her. I want a few of his clothing items. I don't want to send the photos, especially not until I get a couple of his clothes. Should I ask? I don't want to negotiate with her. She responds in rude ways and it feels like I'm talking to a robot who thinks she is the only one grieving him. I feel like she will have some excuse, like "His brothers got all of his clothes, I'm sure you can understand." At which point I will feel furious. I have photos, videos, and voice recordings of him. I am not just going to send them to her. Again, his family was awful to him. Should I ask for the clothes? I feel anxiety anytime I reply to her. I haven't replied to her last text in several days. I feel like now she wants to reach out to me and talk because everyone else has moved on and she knows I haven't and that I'm the one who knew him best. He lives on in me. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics