Reply to If you were abused as a child by your parents, how do you cope with it now?

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Reply to "If you were abused as a child by your parents, how do you cope with it now?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm very sorry OP.

I coped by burying everything very deep and moving far away from home as soon as possible.  I then became an advocate for abused kids and that was an eye opening experience in recognizing that my upbringing was wholly unacceptable.  So I did a fair amount of work on my own, got some therapy, made some bad decisions with men and then learned from that and gradually made better decisions, etc..

VERY late in life I got married and had kids and that provided tremendous clarity for me.  I am much better to advocate for/protect my kids than I am able to do for myself - so doing that has helped me feel less guilty about the distance I maintain between me and my parents.  I limit time with them, I refuse to engage w/ my father on a huge variety of issues, I refuse to participate when family dynamics become volatile, etc...  I lean on my husband and close friends to help me remember who I am and what I care about.  I take my childhood as a daily cautionary tale and lesson in what I strive not to be as a parent.  I acknowledge some of the things my parents did right and that I appreciate.

It's hard work OP and I don't know that it ever truly ends.  My childhood has defined me in so many ways - some of which are great, and some of which are lifelong struggles.

I hope you find a path that brings you peace and equanimity within yourself.  You deserved better.[/quote]

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