Reply to If you were abused as a child by your parents, how do you cope with it now?

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Reply to "If you were abused as a child by your parents, how do you cope with it now?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I wanted to chime in to say, my mother was abused by HER mother, my grandmother.  My mom never got over it.  My mom is 70ish now.  She had too much to drink and wept in my arms about her mom not too long ago.... "why did my mother hate me?  I was just a little girl"....  Years ago.  Sad that it never leaves you.

I will say my mom broke the pattern.  She was a loving mom and I respect her enormously for that.  She did marry a man who was not a good match for her.  Too bossy, overbearing, and his love seemed conditional.... She's never gotten over his affair and the following divorce.  But she is in a better place in her life now, lives in a beautiful town, lovely little house, nice partner.  She overcame, somehow.  Not much therapy in her case.  I can't really unravel or explain the parts of her that are permanently damaged vs. the parts that are damaged.  When I find fault with some of her parenting of me as a kid, I remember to have compassion for her awful childhood.  She did the best she could.  And it was overall pretty darn good, all things considered.

I think you have to forgive and probably let them go.  I don't think you can or should sustain a relationship with your abuser.[/quote]

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