Reply to DW can't manage or handle her aging dad.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the crasher above. I'll respond more later. For now please know that you are NOT being selfish and are NOT a bad person for wanting this to be different and less complicated. Not all cases of elder care are easily manageable. Long term medical decline and side effects from medications can leave you with a parent you do not recognize. Mental health issues. Personality or behavior disorders etc.

Tune out the judgement of others. Filter through the posts and pull out the snippets of advice and support. [/quote]

+1.  Ignore the people calling you selfish for not wanting this situation to destroy your wife, and marriage, in the process.  Your FIL sounds like the incredibly selfish one.  I'm sorry I don't have advice for you.  I have not been in your situation personally, although I was involved in my mother's end of life care.  She was nowhere near how you've described your FIL, and yet it was still one of the most stressful periods of my life. AND I had help. Please focus on the posters who are actually trying to help you help your wife. [/quote]

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