Reply to Is this passive aggressive or am I being super grouchy and sensitive?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]17:40 again. The core issue isn't that he's frugal. It's that he doesn't respect your decision making -- he doesn't respect YOU. Really consider if this is a relationship you can maintain.[/quote]

OP here. I think you hit the nail on the head.  I really do feel disrespected.  I feel that we can certainly budget for things together and plan and I told him as much, but his comments and constant passive aggressiveness about what I spend money on is really taking a toll.

I know my post was all over he place but it was as if I was just articulating how I feel about this.  And I know these are definitely red flags, of course, but can we work though them and set up some boundaries? [/quote]

Does he see a problem with the way he treats you? If not, no, that's not something you can work through. If he gets that it's not a healthy dynamic and is willing to work on it, then maybe you can.

But here's the thing. There are lots of people you may need to set up boundaries with -- extended family, neighbors, bosses, co-workers, friends -- but one person with whom you really shouldn't have to grapple with this is a spouse/fiance. The person you're marrying should be someone who respects you and your needs/preferences enough that they don't trample all over you because they don't *want* to trample all over you. They should want you to feel comfortable, happy and secure. [/quote]

So far he sees nothing wrong with this which is a huge problem. And I agree that I shouldn’t have to justify myself like this especially when it comes to health issues.  [/quote]

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