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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't listen to all those who advise you to leave her, open the marriage, have an affair… they have nothing to lose, and are being brave at your expense. 
You've been together for a long time, have invested in on another, and have kids who you are responsible towards. I'm not saying you should stay, or leave… but do give it time. A month with no sex or bad sex isn't the end of all things. And things said in anger and/or frustration are not always what they seem to be. 
Are you still seeing your therapist? What you should do is think about what you really want to do. I don't know if you'll end up leaving or not… but I'm pretty sure that you won't be saying to yourself "oh, well… if I don't get sex in 6 weeks… I'm history". Once you think about it with a therapist you'll have an easier time figuring out your own desires and limits. 
If you're not still in therapy, and feel your former therapist was a good fit for you, call him up and schedule a meeting. People often go in and out of therapy… and it will save you the prolonged intro phase. 
Good luck… 
[/quote]
Did you miss this from OP: [i]sex has stopped, and she says that we can stay together for the good of the kids, but [b]does not want to be touched, kissed, or have sex[/b].[/i] In other words, his wife has abandoned the marriage, abdicated her role as wife, and has plotted the course to certain demise of their relationship. This is way beyond the point where your softball approach ("give it time" ....  "see a therapist" ... "think about what you want" .... ) is of any use. A wife who has withdrawn intimacy like that needs a healthy shock back into reality. She has zero motivation to want anything to change. The next move is on him and should be decisive. I think "[b]you win: I no longer want to touch you. Our marriage is now Open[/b]" would get her attention.[/quote]

DP. Did you miss where OP says he still loves her and would like things to work out? How is "you win, I no longer want to touch you, our marriage is now open" helpful in even attempting to re-establish love? She's not going to be "shocked" into changing her behavior if OP says this, she will take him at face value and withdraw even further, killing any chance at a reconciliation. [/quote]
It's helpful because it smashes her current belief that the sexless marriage she want's (and now has) is sustainable. She is currently in the comfort zone of having exactly what she wants: a husband who meets her needs, without her having to care about his needs. So she has no reason to make any change. He must provide a good reason for her to want to change. She get's to chose in which direction, but standing still is not an option. The "shock" method has proven successful. And you aren't really offering him any credible options. Just sit around and "hope for the best" is a losing strategy when the boat is already sinking.[/quote]

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