Reply to Advice on bully-proofing after the bullying starts

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[quote=Anonymous]Like I always taught my kids, she needs to know it's okay (probably even best) to not care about idiots & jerks or about their opinions of her.

Think about it this way: if someone who you think is yucky and bad likes something  (like a TV show), does that mean it must be good due to their opinion? No, they're likely to be wrong anyway. The same is true for stuff that person doesn't like: the fact that they don't like it is irrelevant or might even mean the thing is good because bad people don't like it.

That applies directly to her situation. People who are being mean are making bad choices showing questionable character. That means their thinking is questionable too, which makes their opinions unreliable and useless.

When she has less reason to be bothered by other people's rudeness, help her focus on the things that make her a unique & interesting person. She's good at something; all people are. Since she's better than the mean kids  (by virtue of making the better choices NOT to be mean) and she's also good at something that makes her unique - that's the exact sort of thing from which she can and should derive inner confidence.

Personally, I would also make an effort to expose her to strong, confident female role models who were great at showing grace under fire even when others treated them badly. Real or fictional, this gives her someone to admire & try to be like even in challenging moments. [/quote]

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