Reply to No card, no flowers, no candy from long distance boyfriend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the above poster is right that either you need to explain in clear terms exactly what you want, or else you need to find a partner who already does this stuff.

Or, two more alternatives:

- You learn to accept that this is how he is. Great in general, not very romantic on holidays.

Another alternative is that maybe him not really doing it up for VD speaks to other problems you're having in the relationship? Do you feel in general that you are investing more in this than he is - or do you overall feel happy?

I remember the summer I was studying for the bar, my then-BF who I'd been long distance with for a long time, sent me flowers for my birthday. And I was devastated. I was under so much stress that summer, and I just wanted a nice present from him - not flowers he could order the day before. But that's because I knew that he and I were in a doomed relationship and I needed this token from him to prove that we were going to be ok.

Fast forward to my now-husband, who is terrible at presents. (My birthday is in July; it's Feb and he hasn't gotten me a present.) But he and I are super super solid, and I never ever doubt that he is really in this thing. So even if I might get irritated every now and then by how the presents go, it isn't devastating.

Anyway, sorry your BF didn't meet your expectations today. I hope things turn up![/quote]

So funny because I want flowers because he’d have to order them the day before! Not a playlist he made this morning! But yes, long-distance is very very hard for us and things do feel shaky as we try to hold on for several more months until we can close the distance, so I’m sure that’s a big part of my negative feelings. I guess that should have been obvious to me.

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I am the PP - and hugs. Long distance is hard.

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