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[quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't approach things from the standpoint of rules & consequences; I would at first try treating the kid like the autonomous individual he wants to be.

Alright, look, we've had a lot of conflict over things. I'm sick of it and I bet you're sick of it. I'd like to solve it so you and I are working together towards goals we agree are important.

I think it's important for you to do X, Y, and Z because...

But you clearly don't want to do those things when I ask & you react by refusing to do them and threatening not to go to school, eat, or take your medicines. That seems like a problem to me because obviously you need to take care of your body and you need to get an education for the sake of your future.

Those are things I can't compromise on, and, frankly, I don't think those are things you really want to let slide either.

I want to understand the issue that's causing us to fight like this when I ask you to do things, so we can solve it. Do you think the things I'm asking you to do are unreasonable? Why?

Is it something about the way I ask you?

If things need to get done, the people in this household all need to pitch in to do them. How do you think we could work together to make that happen?[/quote]

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