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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You should not be using his email, OP.

You can take care of all the household and child-related things using YOUR email. Pay for things out of the JOINT account. Sign for things yourself.

And yes, I have changed my password in times of conflict - my husband wouldn't stop using MY Amazon account to buy stupid stuff we didn't need. He could have got his own Amazon account for that. So now he can't use it because I changed my password.

[/quote]

I'm the PP above, and just read your update on ADHD. My husband has ADHD, and far worse than bills have been left forgotten: he let our health insurance lapse, for example (two out of the four of us are on daily meds).

This is why I do nearly everything, and this is also why using my email is much better than using his.

[/quote]

Yeah, I've tried to put as much in my email as possible over the years.  Some things, though, require his email; like the school whose contract requires both parents electronically sign from their own accounts.

We've only recently realized, after years of difficulty, that DH has ADHD.   And reading the suggestion that maybe he just forgot his password at his friend's house, I think that's possible; or, also, that it was an impulsive decision when he was angry, and that there was ZERO thought behind it.  And then he forgot about it.

I'm really new to the whole ADHD thing.  Is this just the way it is with ADHD???  Am I destined to do all these things myself forever??  [/quote]

Only if your husband doesn't want to take his responsibilities, OP...
And by that I mean taking the correct dosage of meds and being willing to change his habits, such as checking email and to-do list or calendar several times a day.

My husband, after years of nagging and begging, finally went to a psych. She diagnosed him with ADHD, prescribed him the minimum dose of stimulants to get him started, with the goal of ramping up. He never returned, declared he didn't need the drugs daily, just to go on job interviews (he keeps losing his job, and it takes an eternity for him to find a new one, since his professional history is spotty). It is SO INCREDIBLY frustrating that he can't see how much damage he has done to his family, and himself, by not taking his disorder seriously and complying with meds. I have lost all respect for him: he lost our health insurance, he is not a reliable income-earner, he can't compensate for that by assuming household or childcare duties, since he sucks at both, due to lack of meds (and, beyond that, because he has no standards anyway). And when these things are pointed out to him, usually after he messes up badly, he gaslights and lays blame on everyone except himself. We have tried going to counseling - he apparently didn't hear the same message I heard, because he's under the impression the therapist thought it was all my fault... If there was a mental health disorder for gaslighting, he would have that in addition to ADHD.

However I do not plan on divorcing, because I don't earn enough, and he is not insane enough to be denied half of the custody time. I do NOT want my children to spend half their time being yelled at, brought to school late, and forgotten at pick-up time.[/quote]

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