Reply to I wish my husband was smarter than me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The problem is not that your DH is less smart than you.

The problem is that you feel he is not pulling his weight.

On some level, even if he is doing chores and has a good job, you believe that you are exerting yourself much more than him, mentally.  You have to make all these decisions and you're exhausted by it.

I felt very similar for much of my marriage (maybe the first 7/10 years).  Over time, I just had to learn to appreciate what my husband is good at and leverage it so that we are a better partnership.

For example, my husband cannot plan, research, and hates reading.  I resented this for a long time until I realized that he has very good intuition, very good judgement about people, and a lot of common sense.  He is also frugal and even though I am the one managing our finances, he takes my direction and doesn't waste our money.  He also takes care of the cars.  Is that perfect?  No.  Would I rather he be better able to read over documents and help me sometimes?  Yes.  But that is what marriage is, you need to complement each other's strengths and weaknesses.  And sometimes I have to push him a little bit to get out of his comfort zone, and I have to do it in a diplomatic way.  But that's the best we can do.  You just have to be kind and figure out a way to appreciate and complement each other.[/quote]

I'm the PP who asked what kind of smarts, and this post hits the nail on the head.

Figure out what he can do.  I spend a lot more time on certain things than I would maybe like to, but then there are other things that my husband handles that I'm glad I don't have to think about.  Or, like PP said, have him do stuff like take the cars in, take the animals to the vet, whatever.  Yes, it's annoying if you have to be the one to schedule that stuff, but it still beats having to sit there for an hour while your dog gets a shot.  [/quote]

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