Reply to Obsessive rumination over bad relationship with my mother

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[quote=Anonymous]My father has become a very difficult person to be around. He used to be very pleasant and interesting to talk to, but since retirement and being at home with my mother-- and FOX News-- he has turned into an overly religious, confrontational old man. He's lost his sense of humor and seems to be in a constant battle against "liberals." I can't talk with him much anymore. I think he has a lot of unresolved issues and he is still combating old demons (his bad relationship with his own parents, personal failures, the fact that his kids don't live down the block and attend church every weekend).

It used to bother me more but I've decided to let it go and face the fact that this is who he has chosen to be. This is what makes him comfortable and there's some sort of payoff to being this way. Plus, I think my mom likes this version of him. She's become very religious and is constantly defending Catholicism. They can spend their golden years dreaming up the Crusades. Shrug. I can't stop it.

OP, it has helped me to look at it this way. Getting older isn't easy and some people just choose to approach it with anger, resentment and regrets. They feel powerless and dislike the world. Some people age better and consciously decide to live with happiness and grace. It sounds like you mom has just turned sour. I'd limit contact. Or, if you need to see her more often, just remind yourself that this is who she's become and you have no power against it. She probably has an issue with you and is lashing out for whatever reason, or, again, she's just old and miserable. [/quote]

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