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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That's learned behaviour. I'm guessing in the past if he's said more than "hmmm" you've made it clear it was the wrong response.[/quote]

I have told him it bothers me and he always apologizes but keeps doing the same thing. This will be a conversation with him for example:

ME: My dad may fly in next weekend to visit us
DH: Hmmm

ME: I sent you an email with a car I like. Do you like the car?
DH: Hmmm

ME: DD has diarrhoea
DH: Hmmm

ME: Would you like to go to the farmers market or blah blah event Saturday? 
DH: Hmmm

Seriously this is not a joke. He hmm's all the time. 
[/quote]
Agree that his "hmmm" is a learned defense mechanism.  Maybe developed in response to you, but more likely developed at a younger age.  It's his way of avoiding criticism.  If he takes a position, someone might question or challenge him.  If he responds with an ambiguous "hmmm," or says something non-descript like "interesting" or "huh!" or "i see," then he cannot be challenged.  My partner does that too ... not the "hmmm" specifically but other ways of avoiding revealing any position.  It can be very difficult.[/quote]

OP here: YES YES YES this is my DH and he's foreign.

[/quote]

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