Reply to My mom can't cook- insistent on "helping" once dc2 arrives

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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for the comments, everyone. We had another talk last night and I think it at least sunk in that there will not be a spare room for her if she stays here, meaning she only has a sofa bed ( we have told her multiple times that we no longer have a guest room) We will not rearrange our sleeping arrangements to accommodate her, so she may as well remain in the hotel. I'm also going to send them a number for a cab company, since they always expect us to chauffeur them around.. I don't know how many times I've told them that I think this is too long of a stay, and reminded them of how upset they made me when dc1 was born. I am confident that I can be aggressive when responding to almost all of her rude unhelpful commentary and manage her methods of "helping", I am often very direct with her and they understand that much of their actions and attitudes are why we will never live close to them.  But I think talking poorly about someone's cooking is just more personal and kind of unfair to her, which is why I really appreciate the strategies that some of you have shared. (Funny, first thing DH told me after I wrote this post and came downstairs was that he felt like he could handle my parents, but not them filling up our fridge with their cooking). I think I'll just have to be extremely clear in boundaries and be very blunt when they say something that I find inappropriate. I already plan to have only the groceries we like on hand and easy snack foods taht she can't screw up. Some of our friends have offered to cook us a ton of meals and our church will also bring meals, so I'm thinking this will be the right time to have those delivered. Additionally MIL is coming before they are and she's a fantastic cook, so if we fill every nook and cranny with food we like, and put some of your suggestions to good use re:giving her some small tasks that make her feel important I'm hoping we could just get through this time.[/quote]

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