Reply to Grandparent solo vacation request not sitting well

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[quote=Anonymous]You know that they have boundaries that are different than yours.  You can take it personally or just deal with the problems as they arise.  In this case, rather than be bothered, just be honest that you have fond childhood memories of BeachTown and DS won't be going there until you can take him there and introduce him to it the way you remember it.  And that them taking him is not really an option.  Additionally, you aren't ready for him to go someplace with safety issues like the beach without you.  If they want to take the whole family to any other beach, they are welcome to pick a destination, but going without you and going to BeachTown are just not up for discussion.

I believe very firmly that when it comes to certain areas, you can choose to be happy or you can choose to be upset.  We, as parents, define boundaries and I don't get invested or upset if someone wants to challenge those boundaries.  I gently but firmly lay down the law on those boundaries that we have and don't let it bother me.  If they want to try and get around my boundaries, it's not my problem and I don't let it bother me.  It's their problem and as the parent, I will win.  That said, I do discuss these boundaries with my spouse and we come to a unified decision how we will proceed.

Other than that, I am pretty lenient about what I let the grandparents do with the kids and we have taught our kids that extended family often don't follow our family rules.  During their visits to us or our visits to them, we can bend the normal rules, but when we are home and they are gone, we go back to our household rules.[/quote]

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