Reply to 9-month-old standing in crib crying

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thank you all for the tips. As one PP suggested, it seems like this might be separation anxiety related. In addition to the sleep issues, I've noticed that while in the morning before work I used to be able to set him in his crib with a toy or cloth book and he'd play happily for 15-20 minutes while I got ready and before the nanny arrived, now he'll stand up in the crib and fuss/yell (not full-on crying) until I come back or until nanny shows up, though he'll also play a little bit during that time. If it's separation anxiety that's fueling this, will re-sleep training make it worse? We had a shockingly easy time sleep training the first time around (first night, he literally cried for 1 minute and then fell asleep), so I don't have a great sense of how much prolonged crying he'll do before he wears himself out, if he ever does indeed wear himself out. I also of course don't want to make the anxiety worse by letting him CIO if that's the wrong approach.

For the PP who said to ease up on sleep training, but be consistent - what should we consistently be doing? [/quote]

PP here. Yes, it sounds like separation anxiety from the daytime behavior. In my experience, trying to leave them alone to CIO during separation anxiety just makes them more stimulated and worked up (depending on temperament -- if you've got a persistent/aware one, as I did, it never worked). What did work for us at that age was PUPD (pick up put down). We'd go in after a minute or two of crying, soothe, and when baby stopped crying and calmed down, put the baby down and say it's time to go to sleep. Usually that worked within 20 minutes or so, but it may take longer for you. The point is to reassure them consistently but also let them know that it's OK for them to feel their own tiredness and go to sleep.

It's a phase and exhausting but it passes. Some things you can do at that age to help with separation anxiety -- peekaboo games or any kinds of things where you "play" during the day with funny hiding. Something they can tolerate and laugh at, then slowly make yourself hide for longer and further away. The point is for them to experience the anxiety but in a cathartic way. If they go through this phase later, like around 2, the same kind of game works. Laura Markham talks about it on her blog -- you do peekaboo further and further away from their bed. According to her they are supposed to laugh/cry at the same time and feel relieved. I thought this was so nuts, but after a crazy separation anxiety phase at naptime I tried it one day and my child reacted exactly as she described -- crying, laughing, and then finally falling asleep himself! It was crazy. It worked after like 10 minutes. Good luck, I know it's really trying and hard... we refer to that 8-10 month regression as the point in the first year marathon that cracked us. It was brutal going back to that after sleep training. But with both of mine they have gone right back to sleeping well after it passed.[/quote]

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