Reply to Oppositional Defiant Disorder Diagnosis

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, to give you an idea of what asd looks like in a "high functioning", socially motivated kid ...  my DS enjoys playing with other kids and actively wants friends but has very rigid play.  He tries to set the script and control the play.  There are some kids that will play very well with him but most kids will play and kind of ignore him.  He may or may not notice that they are actually ignoring him.  He doesn't get reciprocity at all.  If a neighborhood friend comes to the door and DS isn't interested in going out right then, he would just say no and shut the door.  Similar with reciprocity in conversation.

I bring this up because rigidity, obsession with fairness, and blowing up when expectations are violated are kind of hallmarks of ASD but we had ASD dismissed out of hand when DS was younger because he was socially motivated and because friendships are almost always parent mediated in the younger years.  And also DS'S stims were attributed to adhd hyperactivity.  He's 10 now and it's become a lot clearer but it was pretty fuzzy at 6 and 7.

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OP here:  This really sounds like him.  He plays with friends but he often says "I made up all the games,"  or "They are in my club."  He is very concerned with things being fair and equitable which is the cause of many meltdowns.  He also needs advanced warning and doesn't do well with sudden changes of plans.  I think I will ask for him to be tested when we do the neuropsych at KK if that's not already included.  I don't think they think to test him for this initially because he has no issues with eye contact and is a very clever engaging kid with adults.  He is very fidgety and has some sensory issues with loud noises, tags, socks, etc.[/quote]

Hi OP, when we were going through diagnostic hell when our kid was about 5, a well-regarded pediatric neurologist told us she wasn't fond of ODD diagnoses for kids his age -- she said, (paraphrasing) "When you look at the situation, you usually find they actually have something to be oppositional about."  Meaning that finding the underlying cause for his unhappiness and acting out was the important thing.  I know your child is a bit older, and I don't know much about ODD, but I'm hoping you get good advice with your followup evaluations, and that your doctors keep an open mind about what's going on. It's a tough situation -- good luck to all of you. 
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