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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Like PP, I would be direct.  Not unkind, but direct and consistent:

"I'm sorry Jane but I am not comfortable having my kids spend time with you. But I'd love to set up our next lunch - would Jan. 15th at Panera's work for you?"

And I'd leave it at that and just restate that as needed.  If she continued to press I'd say "Jane, my kids have seen you drunk and passed out on multiple occasions and they have also seen me take you to the ER for psych intakes.  This is not good for them so I am ensuring that they won't be exposed to it anymore.  I hope that you and I can continue to stay in touch, but as long as you are drinking and are not getting treatment for the (insert appropriate diagnosis here) I will be limiting their contact with you.

Your most important job is to protect your kids.  Period.  Just say that and stand by it.

[/quote]

+1. This is some scary shit for kids. The age probably isn't the issue for you (and certainly isn't for the kids, depending on their ages) but if he's 30 yrs older and has been an alcoholic that long, he probably looks 60 years older and a whole lot scarier. Just let her know that the more stable she is, the likelier you can work family visits for everyone back into your schedule. If she's highly functioning, she will understand/agree.

But remember to let her do her time and let her off the hook if all goes well.[/quote]

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