Reply to How did you deal with your DS or DD during parental alienation?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again.  I'm not trying to equate the "stuff" and "money" with parenting.  I'm really not.  I am (I hope) very involved and active in her life.

I'm also not trying to "manipulate" her.

I'm trying to discern the best course of action that makes her realize - eventually, maybe - that her actions and decisions have consequences; that she should begin to have some responsibility.

Incidentally she's also pissed I took her phone away (she broke her ironclad, repeat promise to give me the unlock code) and that I won't let her see a friend who is a terrible influence.  Guess who lets her use a phone and guess who lets her see her friend?  :([/quote]

I'm confused. I thought mom wasn't letting her see you? But you're very involved? Could you clarify what the problem is? It might help with advice. What is DD deciding that is causing problems? Is she asking to stay at moms when it's your turn? How far apart do you and mom live?

[/quote]

We were 50/50 until just a few days ago.  [b]DD just emailed me saying my house was contributing to her emotional issues and she wanted to stay with mom for a while.  We live about a mile apart.  [/b]

The absurdity is that her mother is too stupid to disguise the fact she wrote the email and signed it in a manner totally different than DD, so I know ex's bitter hand is all over this.   [/quote]

Respond with a firm, "No, I will see you Tuesday per the usual schedule. I'm looking forward to your basketball game Thursday. Love you Larla!"

Don't allow a change in the schedule - for either daughter.

And while some of this might be on the mom, realize that 14years is a shitty age, and attitudes are shitty at that age. I recommend some family counseling (and probably individual counseling for you), but not because you're doing this wrong. Just because this is HARD, and having some professional support to navigate it might help.[/quote]

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