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Reply to "Really bad at being fake happy"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] Can you not applaud his courage for bravely trying to work through his struggle with art and creativity? For sharing with the world? Who gives a damn if his writing's not great, he's creating and sharing, and that takes courage. Honestly I have no patience for the "I just have to be brutally honest" crowd (absent of ASD or something.) They tend to be selfish, immature, smug, and have too of an opinion about themselves. Of course you can tell white lies to protect someone's feelings, you just choose not to because you'd rather be smug about your "brutal honesty." I mean if you were sitting in front of your boss and s/he said, "I'll give a million dollar raise if you tell me you like my new suit" and you HATE the suit are you telling me you just wouldn't be able to find it in yourself to say, "It's a nice suit and I like it" ?[/quote] +1. My brother is like this and when confronted on his rudeness he says "I'm just giving you my opinion; do you want me to lie?" It drives me crazy and I have tried but he only sees things his way. It's really put a wedge between us and I hardly share anything with him anymore. [/quote] Another +1. I've known people like OP who think common decent courtesy--just finding one positive aspect of something they don't like overall--is "being fake." One friend preached how she was always and only "sincere" and things like saying "I'm glad writing helps you" (which is what OP should say) were "insincere," which to her was the greatest sin. She and apparently OP couldn't comprehend that a statement like "I'm glad that helps you" or "It's great you're feeling better thanks to (whatever)" does not mean they love the "whatever." These are people who believe that it's somehow dishonest to be happy for another person's happiness even if they're not thrilled with the activity or person that produces that happiness in their loved one. They see things in intense black and white and tend to be unsupportive unless their loved ones do what they believe is right, or tasteful (OP's problem), etc. It's sad because they can't get outside their own heads and see how other people perceive things. [/quote] +1 If you think telling someone that you are happy that X thing (which you don't like) makes them happy is "fake," the fault lies with you. Why can't you genuinely be happy for your brother that writing provides him an outlet for his emotions, even if the writing isn't very good? Why can't you be genuinely happy for someone who is expecting a baby, even if you think the timing is bad? Why can't you be happy for a friend who is marrying someone they love, even if you don't love their fiance? Why can you only be happy for people who are doing things that you personally approve of?[/quote]
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