Reply to Jewish Parents: Do you talk to your kids about God?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think we need to bring h Gd back into Judaism. [b]Otherwise what we have left to pass onto our kids are bagels and holidays without much meaning.[/b][/quote]
Honestly, this is how I sometimes feel about Judaism.  With the exception of Orthodox Jews, Judaism has become meaningless because many people who are culturally Jews are atheists.  There seems to be some level of opposition towards bringing God back into Judaism.   Other people of faith seem to have some purpose or principles.  Catholics, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, etc. I know what they believe.  What exactly do Jews believe in?   Without God is Judaism dead?    [/quote]

This is why we go to Chabad. We are not observant. We don't keep kosher. We eat pig on Shabbat. But, we want our children to learn observant Judaism so that they can make the decision of how observant to be for themselves.

My kids absolutely love Chabad because it's so authentic and sincere. [/quote]

So this is a philosophy I hear sometimes about Chabad and I'm genuinely confused by it. You and your spouse do not value "observant Judaism" in your daily lives. So why do you want to expose your children to it? Why hold it up as an ideal if that ideal doesn't meet your family's needs? There are so many other ways to "do Jewish" that may better reflect the values you do have, why not explore those communities and find one that meets everyone in your family's interests and values? Otherwise, why involve your kid at all?

And if your kids do choose to follow Chabad's model of a Jewish life, are you going to feel comfortable with that? Will you be ok with the fact that they won't eat in your nonkosher home, that they won't drive to see you on Shabbat and all holidays, and all the other things that go along with that path? The folks who run Chabad aren't reflective of the larger ultra-orthodox world, they are hand-picked, specially trained recruiters (called shlichim) who are on a mission to reach out and embrace nonobservant Jews (with a special emphasis on their children). Their goal is simple--to "save" every Jewish soul they can by offering up all kinds of experiences for little to no cost. They are evangelists. If your kids embrace ultra-orthodoxy as adults, they won't be like those people running their classes and warmly welcoming you each time they see you.  They will move to a closed community and live a Torah-centered life that eschews secular society. That is the outcome that Chabad is working for. Chabad is the outreach organization for the Lubavitch movement and the end game is to add to the Lubavitch community, not to have a few more members of the Chabad house.

"The approach of Chabad today mirrors that of the Baal Shem Tov in his time: Look past the outward person and trust in the soul deep inside. You may disapprove of everything he does, and his outlook on life may be the opposite of everything you believe. Don’t argue with him. Instead, be one with him. Unconditionally. You enjoy Shabbat--enjoy it with him. You find solace and counsel in the wisdom of Torah--talk to your holy brothers and sisters about that wisdom in their own language, on their own terms. And if he or she does not change one iota, that is irrelevant. You have done your job of love. Two Jews became one and that is all that matters." This quote comes from Chabad's own website--and while it sounds all loving, don't skip over the first few sentences. Do you feel ok with the fact that the people teaching your kids openly admit that they disapprove of everything you do and your outlook on life? Would you put up with that same statement from your kids' secular school teachers?
[/quote]

I have heard this criticism of Chabad before and there are valid points here. I've been told that once your child hits post Bar Mitzvah age there is pressure to "do more". As a family we will not be pressured to do anything. Here's what we love about Chabad:
- My kids have learned more Hebrew in one year than they did in 3 years of their previous Conservative Hebrew school
- instead of having to go to HS 2x a week for 5+ hours they go on Sundays for 2 hours.

I find your comments about sexism and racism offensive. I find Chabad to be the most welcoming place as a woman. Our rebbetzin is absolutely brilliant and inspiring, raising a gaggle of children while running the preschool, teaching classes etc.

In terms of Chabad thinking we are wrong and judging our choices, guess what? We are wrong! Judaism is what it is. In our opinion, the Reform and Conservative movements have made it easier and more convenient to be Jewish by downplaying or outright ignoring Jewish law. Sure, it's convenient to have the synagogue kickball tournament on a Saturday, but is this "kosher"? Of course not. If the synagogue says it's ok, members think it's ok.

I have never been made to feel guilty about the choices I make as a Jew at Chabad. They show us the observant way and what we do is up to us. Truthfully they inspire us to do more but within our comfort zone. I baked a challah last week for fun. We will light Hanukkah candles all 8 nights. We go to services 4x a year now instead of 2. We still drive there. Everyone does.

If my kids decide to be more observant, I will be proud. Unbelievably proud because being observant is a huge commitment and effort. How could I not be? Our rabbi has been to our home before. He has never eaten here but I would make whatever accommodations needed to make him comfortable and my children comfortable. [/quote]

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