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[quote=Anonymous]I'm with you OP.  My younger one (3 almost 4) still too often gets physical so I watch him like a hawk when we are in certain social situations.  We also have some of the youngest kids in our various sets of friends. So upshot is that I (or DH) are often the parent most around during a get-together, playdates, etc. My takeaway as the frequent "designated parent": kids, siblings in particular, do not "work things out." They grab toys from younger kids, they don't share at all, they exclude (always this!), they fight. Every time I hear a parent say "let the kids work it out," the translation really is "I don't want to get up to help them actually work it out...."

And yes, I exaggerate, there are plenty of counterexamples, and my observation has been certainly that some families/siblings/groups of friends can be much better at getting along. And I realize that many of the PPs, myself included, hold off on intervening, but do so when things escalate (I call it the "downward spiral"). But most of the time "let them work it out" just = a parental "I'm too lazy."[/quote]

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