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[quote=Anonymous]I am a mom to a 6yo girl and we are friends with another family with a 6yo girl. All parents involved would say they are in favor of less hovering, and encouraging kids to work it out on their own. However...

What this looks like in practice (to me) looks different between us. To illustrate an issue beyond physical interactions I'm highlighting them because while the parents are lovely people, their daughter has serious "mean girl" status brewing.

Verbally, she is very quick to pick on a weakness not just in my child, but whoever won't do her bidding. It seems like it is at it's worst in playgroups of 3 girls. But 1 on 1 often doesn't go well either.

My kid can be bossy too, but if it is pointed out to her, she will acknowledge it and look for a solution. This has everything to do with giving her constant scripts (at home, from her early preschool teachers, the types of books we read) as well as I assume, her personality.

The other child in my opinion, can have my daughter say to her "hey, that hurt my feelings, maybe we can play X instead" and will just respond "nope" and double down on whatever insult or power struggle she started. She responds to adults getting involved, and forcefully insisting on more socially permissible modeled behavior, but I think her parents wait till the situation escalates too far before they involve themselves. The damage the other kid lays down...getting other kids to fear being under her hazing keeps other kids in line and makes my kid not want to play with her. [/quote]

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