Reply to Abusive Spouses Really Surprised When You File for Divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes my XH was shocked because in his mind he was never wrong. [/quote]

Same here. This is such a big root of the problem. My XH was abused as a child, his father was very mean, demeaning, controlling, violent, etc. As much as XH suffered growing up, that aggressive way of dealing with other people's faults seemed normal to him. His logic was that he is always right, and if I would only do what he says then all would be well. And if I fail to do a hundred things his way, then I'm uncompromising/not trying hard enough. He corrected nearly everything I did: where to set a pot to dry, how and when to speak, how to walk, and countless other things had to be his way. To him "listen" and "obey" are synonyms. He refused to add me to the apartment lease because then I'd have no rights when he kicked me out.

The last time we broke up, I told myself that I'm done for good, because he is always right, I get all the blame, and nothing will ever change. A few months after we split, I met a good guy and slept with him. When XH found out, he was furious and shocked that I "cheated" on him, called me a whore, sent me texts "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you." It really was a shock to him that I truly left and moved on.
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