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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Help me with my totally messed up marriage, in which the abuser blames the abused"
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[quote=Anonymous]Remember, abusers can also excuse their behavior. He hit her because she was in his space and he was just trying to breathe. He shoved her down the stairs because he was trying to leave the house and she wouldn't get out of his way. He hit her because she was taunting him and wouldn't stop even though he'd begged her and he was having an emotional breakdown. And on and on. I'm not saying you're abusive, but I am also saying that being able to come up with an excuse for why you pushed him or hit him isn't sufficient evidence that you aren't. And we tend to take the person who was harmed at their word. He says "it was a love tap, we were wrestling in fun," she says "it left a mark, I couldn't get enough air to scream for help." It sounds like your DH has other, bigger issues right now, and if you're going to stay together those need to be addressed.[/quote]
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