Reply to Help me with my totally messed up marriage, in which the abuser blames the abused

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I appreciate all the replies.

He sees a therapist, but I highly suspect that she does not understand the severity of the situation.  I actually called his psychiatrist over the weekend and he did not call me back but instead contacted DH, who said that I was "overreacting" and the psychiatrist believed it.

The thing that keeps me hanging on is that this all feels SO OUT OF THE BLUE.  I mean, a year to build up to this is a long time, but we had our second child 18 months ago, and when I was pregnant he was extremely loving and supportive and showed zero signs of mental health problems.  We had our issues, like every marriage, but nothing, nothing, nothing resembling this.

I spoke to another of his good friends today who assured me that whatever comments DH made about my being "the violent one" are the result of his being deeply troubled and mentally ill, and he will speak to the first friend to make sure we are all on the same team and agree that a) I am not abusive and b) my DH needs help with his mood and behavior for his sake and mine (and of course our kids).

I do want to hang in there because I love him and we have this history together and I hope this is a temporary illness but I will keep all everyone has said here in mind.
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