Reply to My nieces and nephews are so spoiled and rude. Wrong for not wanting to gt them xmas presents?

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Reply to "My nieces and nephews are so spoiled and rude. Wrong for not wanting to gt them xmas presents?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP— I’m guessing you do not have kids.  Because I think you are misplacing blame here. Especially for the 12 and under set, thank you notes only happen if parents sit their kids and insist.  And drag them through each note. It’s like Chinese water torture.  No 10 year old says hey— I think I will sit down and write a thank you notes now. If your siblings haven’t insisted on thank you notes, they aren’t going to happen. And that is not the kids fault.

Similarly manners— that is on the parents.  Kids don’t automatically know how to behave. (And PP is right.  Most kids go through a sullen, angry, annoying phase in middle school/ early high school.  Parents may be able to drag a please and thank you out of them. But that awkward phase between cute kid and older teen who has their sh*t together can be a bear. Certainly you remember being that age?  Most kids grow out of it).

So yeah.  I guess you can punish the kids for being normal tween and having parents who are falling down on the thank you note job. But it won’t change anything, and the kid will not understand what the problem is.  And when the kid is 16 and turns back into a decent human being, you won’t have a relationship.

And rather than being passive aggressive with the kids (who will not get it),  deal with it like a grown up. Talk to your sibling and tell them you want thank you notes.  Although in 2017, everyone will be happier if you are a little flexible. You are much more likely to get a thank you email or text or FaceTime than a handwritten note.  In my book if the gift is clearly acknowledged with an axpression of gratitude it’s all good.  I often take pictures of kids opening gifts or playing with gifts and have them send it to the giver with a thank you so much! I am loving my new xxxx. Yes, handwritten is better. But uugghhh!

You seem to need a better connect with your nieces and nephews.  Maybe this year, take them to do something they will think of as fun— ice skating and hot chocolate, a trampoline park, a movie with a big tub of popcorn, etc. , rather than just buying them stuff.  Much more rewarding, and it seems like you need some bonding time.  And if they thank you in Reston and tell you they had a wonderful time, count it as a win, and let it go.[/quote]

Thanks autocorrect. Thank you in person. Not Reston. Although if you are in Reston, and they thanks you, that works too

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