Reply to Do men like inlaws more than women?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because DHs are less PITA and easier going than DWs. [/quote]

This is not true. I think women stay closer to their parents and are better at managing relationships. Sons mangle their relationships and the wives suffer. [/quote]

This. The women are expected, even, to be the ones who do the work to maintain relationships. One of my biggest complaints about my MIL is that she will put me in the middle of communications between her and my husband, and basically put me in the position of being her proxy nagger. Just for instance, at one point she was super fixated on having a formal picture taken with her and each of her sons. She had called DH about it and he said yeah sure, but wasn't taking immediate action to schedule it. So then she started calling him repeatedly, and he (knowing what it was about & not feeling like dealing with it yet, presumably) just didn't answer or get back to her immediately. For the record, I'm not necessarily defending his actions here; just saying what happened. Although she was totally fixating / obsessing and arguably this issue wasn't really very urgent, and this all happened over the course of 2-3 days. Anyways: once she didn't hear back from him promptly, she started texting / calling me. Now I have to either choose to be rude and not respond, OR I become his proxy nagger on her behalf - she tells me she's been trying to get ahold of him and needs him to schedule it, I say I know he's been busy but I'll pass along the message, then when it hasn't been scheduled 2 days later I'M suddenly the one who gets called / blamed. I'm getting stuck in the middle because he has the luxury of taking more of a "she's being ridiculous, I'm busy this week and I'll get to it when I can, she can calm down and wait" approach while I cannot without causing even further drama. That's just a (hopefully illustrative) example, obviously. Similar situation with "tell him to call me more!" etc.

With my own parents, we're obviously closer / have a different dynamic, so IF they were hassling me about something I could pipe right up and call them out and it would be totally fine, no effect on the relationship. And never would my parents expect my husband to pick up the slack in the relationship between them and us, whereas that's what women are very often expected to do in the opposite scenario [/quote]

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