Reply to When do you stop feeling like an outsider as an inlaw?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Obviously depends on the family. My ILs, including my SIL, definitely lets the spouses know that we aren't "in the circle."  [b]When we visit, a morning run to get coffee at Starbucks won't include me unless I am the one who goes to get it![/b] Petty stuff all the way to the serious stuff. I've just come to accept it and feel like it's their loss anyway. My parents are very warm towards DH (and even his siblings).  Different families. [/quote]

That is seriously totally effed up.  I'd take DH's each and every time.  In front of everyone.  Or we'd both leave to get coffee for all the inlaws.

Honestly, that is so rude I wouldn't stay with them anymore.  I'm angry for you![/quote]

DH and I end up sharing a cup when this happens.  In the past several visits, I've just asked to borrow the car and do the Starbucks run for everyone - gives me an excuse to step away for 20 minutes. It's not a big deal but at the same time, it's hurtful at the beginning. One time we flew to see them for Mothers Day. We got MIL flowers and a gift.  MIL got a gift for my SIL (DH's sister) and then looked at me to ask what my mother got me.  I was really angered b/c she knew I didn't get to spend it with my mother.  I had flown to visit her and give her attention.  Ugh.  It's painful just to type this.  Sorry, OP![/quote]

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