Reply to Multi-generation Princeton double-legacy. DC doesn't want to go there...help

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[quote=Anonymous]Where does he want to go?  And does he have a good back-up plan if he doesn’t get in to his first choice?  If his first choice is some place you respect and he has a realistic alternative, he gets to decide.

What’s at stake here isn’t where your son goes to college, but what kind of relationship you have with him during and after college.  Remind your husband of that and tell your FIL to butt out.

Honestly, there’s not much up-side to Princeton for your kid.  If he does get in, he feels like he didn’t earn it — just rode in on your families’ coattails.  And then you have four more years of him competing with parents/ancestors (or their legends of their undergrad experience). If he doesn’t get in, he feels like a failure and a disappointment to you.  Couldn’t make it even with a big edge.

If he goes his own way, he can take pride in his accomplishments and responsibility for his mistakes.  That’s a good way to start adulthood.

FWIW, BTDT (but just legacy — not tradition) and followed my own advice.  DC is really happy at HER first choice college and it’s fun to visit and explore and let her show us things.[/quote]

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