Reply to Friend not wanting me to speak to her husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]Also, it's interesting to see the friend being described as contoing or a perfectionist. That is a red flag, especially if it is behaviour that didn't start until the relationship. Hypervigilance and a desire to be perfect is one way victims try to minimize the triggers for abuse.[/quote]

This was true for me. I was always organized but controlling circumstances that I could actually control was a coping mechanism.

However, I would never bring my friends to my house as I hated when my ex was fake nice to them as it was such a show. I always went to their houses for an escape. Plus at my house, my ex wouldn't leave us alone and did and said things that made me feel shame.

At least in my case, my ex didn't want me to have friends at all, let alone in my house and would be mad if they were there or if I mentioned them offering to help me with something at home.

Are you sure you're not being overly sensitive OP? Maybe he was just having a bad day. I also think you should email or ask him if you really are close. Maybe he doesn't view you as a very close friend. Has he confided in you about anything ever? I could comfortably ask my close friends what's up. Has anyone ever told you that you're overly flirty? Are you respectful that their marriage is a closer bond above your friendships?[/quote]

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