Reply to Why do they say to wait a long time to start a new relationship after a divorce/separation?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Why do they say to wait a long time to start a new relationship after a divorce/separation?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My twins are now 6 years old.  Since my children have been born, I have only spent short periods by myself without either my wife or my children with me.  This past summer, my wife was going to a week-long conference.  I normally go, but this year I had a lot of family commitments, etc, and changed jobs, so I didn't have a week of leave to take.  But they introduced a kids program this year.  So my wife took the kids to the conference and put them in the kids program.  I got a week of Daddy Staycation to myself.  Other than 3 long work weekends and 1 week flying to take care of my sister in the hospital, I haven't had this much time without family commitments or responsibilities since the kids were born.

What did I do?
I scheduled a massage on a weekday evening.
I went to 3 restaurants with cuisine my wife or kids do not like.
I went to the movies at the last minute, on a whim, after work, just because it felt like the thing to do.
I got takeout and went home and watched an action guy-flick that my wife doesn't want to watch.  While eating dinner on the couch.
I met a friend and went to happy hour all on my own, without having to check if I could go, because I didn't have to check in with anyone.

Things that I really didn't even realize relax me, I got to do whenever I wanted to.

I love my family, I love doing things for them and I don't mind the compromises and sacrifices that I make for family harmony.  But there are parts of myself that I miss because I don't give myself the opportunity to explore them.  But I know those things.  So I look for opportunities to enjoy them when I can.

OP, you need to do this same exploration of yourself to find those things that help you.  Then, when you are in a new relationship, and you have some time to yourself, you'll have a better idea of what to do that will relax you and help you recenter before commitments and responsibilities from your relationship resume.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics