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[quote=Anonymous]It can be a partnership - but one in which you have more control and give more direction.  I know, my DH was diagnosed after our oldest was diagnosed.  I have 2 DSs and a DH with ADHD and a DD that does not (my mini-me!).  The only reason it works is because my DH will take direction and likes me to make him a list.  We're also a family of routine and structure.  My kids are 14, 13, 12.

1.  Evenings - I check SIS for grades/homework.  Everyone picks out what they're going to wear, decides if they're going to pack/buy lunch (and pack it the night before), brush teeth (we don't brush in the morning), fill the dishwasher and set it to run at 3 AM, put a load of laundry in and set it to run at 4AM.  Backpacks are checked and ready to go.
2.  Mornings - DH puts clothes in dryer (he's up first and uses the bathroom closest to dryer), kids get 5 minute warning before it's time to get up (only DD gets herself up).  Boys have checklist for morning things to do. 
3.  When they get home from school - everyone has a checklist of things to do, including specific chores (clean bathroom, vacuum floors, empty dishwasher (it was on someone's list to open in the morning so dishes will be dry by afternoon).  Cleaning chores should take no more than 20 minutes.  We also include study/homework time on it.  
4.  On weekends, there are chore lists and sometimes I will designate a 'project manager' whose job it is to organize a chore and oversee its execution.  Just because someone is a project manager, doesn't mean they don't have to work.

You are amazing! Thanks for this idea. Question: Do you have an actual check list on a white board? Something else? What happens if something doesn't get done? Is there a consequence?

It's taken me a while to get this routine down but it's been immensely helpful.  We can't afford to outsource stuff and I'd be killing myself trying to do it all.  What's been heartening is that my boys with ADHD are well trained for a list, want one and the older one is now generating his own lists. [/quote][/quote]

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