Reply to S/O insisting on hosting Thanksgiving etc

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My brother and his wife host every single year, because they insist on it. It's a pain for us because we're the only ones with young children and it's not far enough to warrant a hotel stay but the trip makes for a very long day. SIL also invites her parents, who aren't particularly nice people (vaguely racist and not-so-vaguely misogynistic). My parents come too and I don't think they really enjoy it. My mom and I have both offered to host numerous times and SIL always whines about how inconvenient that would be for her parents, so we give in. Rinse and repeat for Christmas and Easter. Every year, we get invited to spend those holidays with neighbors and close friends and I expect we'll take them up on it sooner or later. [/quote]

This sounds a lot like my brother, who "likes to cook" so never will give up hosting, & never wants to come to my house, although I traveled to his (including plane flights) for years. Now I do my own holidays with my nuclear family, bz there was never any reciprocity, even though ironically we live an hour apart now & could absolutely make it work. Makes my mom upset, which is too bad. My DH is not close to his family of origin (not his fault, & for reasons I will not post even on an anonymous forum). So, sometimes I cook for just our kids & us, and we now occasionally travel on Thanksgiving Day itself, which has been very fun. For those who are frustrated with complicated family dynamics, sometimes it's best just to embrace new traditions! [/quote]

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