Reply to Picky eater is parent's fault?

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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds exactly like my 5 year old.  He was like this from birth, whereas my second kid is much more flexible (picky within a normal range but still eats way more than the older kid).  I have always wondered about a sensory issue but have never found anything that anyone felt was worth following up on, and he's doing fine, so it's not causing any major issues (besides also being very low in weight, below 5th percentile).

Read Ellyn Satter, as was suggested.  I recommend continuing to do what you are doing but restructuring it a bit.  Instead of "giving in" when he doesn't eat what you provide, plan meals so that you provide something that he's very likely to eat on a more regular basis and/or with each meal.  For example, if you know that he'll eat toast, then provide him with a dinner you think it's super appealing to him (whatever that might be -- maybe spaghetti and meatballs), but provide toast on the side.  If he's really hungry, he eats the toast.  No other options will be provided, but he can eat as much toast as he wants (though you always put some of the entree on his plate).  Never force or even suggest anything about the other food.  Just give it and allow him to make the choices.  Don't comment if he tries something new or if he doesn't.

Another thing I try to do is to alternate so that if I serve him a lunch that's pretty undesirable to him, I offer a snack a few hours later that may be one of his healthy-but-favorite items (like yogurt, perhaps).  This way, he isn't starving because he's getting other options but not as an alternative to the meal and not at mealtime.

I'm not sure that daycare will help.  They told me this, too, and it didn't make any difference for my kid.  All the other kids could happily devour blueberries or raspberries, and my kid would be like, "No way am I eating those!"  Though once pizza became "cool" and he became aware of this (around age 4), he did finally try it -- and now only eats it without sauce but loves it if I make it or order it like that.  But daycare also won't hurt anything, so don't stress about it.

Ultimately, I feel like you just have to go with the flow and try not to stress too much.  Keep offering healthy choices, and eventually, your kid will eat it.  My kid basically has refused grilled chicken every time I've offered for the past 6 months (he previously did eat it, even though it wasn't ever a favorite).  Today I gave him grilled chicken for dinner, and he asked for seconds and thirds and raved about how this was his favorite dinner ever.  Kids are weird!!![/quote]

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