Reply to S/O insisting on hosting Thanksgiving etc

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I host every other year. So every other year I travel to my inlaws and then every other year I host. When I host, no one from inlaws family shows up. My parents come though and enjoy not being alone on the holiday. When I go to my inlaws, they spend the holiday by themselves as I'm an only child. [/quote]

PP above and it would be the same here.  My family would have nowhere to go.  Luckily DH could give two shits if we go to his side, so it works out perfectly.[/quote]

Oh wow. So you never go to his family's for Thanksgiving? That doesn't seem that fair. My parents spend half of their holidays alone, which is pretty sad but I can't never see my inlaws on holidays. This year they're alone on Christmas but not Thanksgiving.

When I host both parents attend my celebration, but when inlaws host, they don't invite my parents. It's a bone of contention with my parents that inlaws attend "their" Christmases, but don't invite them when it's not their year.[/quote]

No, because his parents don't host.  If they did, we would trade off.  I'm not going to a huge house party with 50+ people and a bunch of shitty potluck food. Sorry.  His parents and siblings are invited to our house every year for all or part of the day (i.e. stop by later for pie).  They choose the melee.  Whatevs.

His parents have 7000 family members and friends.  Mine don't.  At Christmas it's a fucking nightmare every year b/c his parents INSIST on having everyone together on Christmas Day instead of trading off.  My older sister works retail and can't do Christmas Eve.  So b/c of their insistence we have essentially three Christmases on Christmas Day every year - our own nuclear family in the early AM, his family and my family (trading off between brunch/early afternoon and evening).  They have their traditions and won't give an inch.  So DH and I have insisted on our own.  I think that's fair.[/quote]

You just sound worse and worse every time you post.  Your poor husband.[/quote]

I would have thought by now, with kids and all, you would have learned that what works for you, doesn't work for everyone.  I think the PP's plan works out well.  I don't blame her a bit - especially since I can relate.  My family is in the midwest and since I moved out of state in my 20s, have never been back for Thanksgiving.  I couldn't afford to come for T-day AND Christmas and so T-day was without me.  I LOVED the T-days with just friends.  DH's family is local so we spend T-day with his aunt/cousin.  It's just like the melee the PP describes.  I endured it.  But, one year, the aunt/cousin decided to go out of town for T-day.  It was WONDERFUL doing our own thing.

When my kids are married and having to decide where to spend the holidays, I'm not going to make it difficult for them. I'm perfectly fine being home alone on T-day and Christmas.  I have a lot of experience celebrating whenever we get together rather than the day-of.  We can all enjoy being together without the stress.[/quote]

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