Reply to Refusal to change your last name makes me question your committment!!

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Reply to "Refusal to change your last name makes me question your committment!!"

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[quote=Anonymous]whoa. what bothers me is that he cares more about what OTHER people think than what YOU feel. That is a big red flag. Its not so much the actual impact of changing name (which is huge) but the way that he has pivoted his position and that his only defense is that he'll be embarassed. And its manipulative to say that he's questioning your commitment--changing your name was never a test of commitment. It could just as easily be turned around (his commitment).

And honestly, I can't really fathom any social circles in which a man would be embarrassed by the fact that his wife kept her own name. And I certainly wouldn't want to be part of those circles if they exist.

I say you make 3 appointments with for premarital counseling, but honestly this does not bode well for the long term--. Neither of you should be strong armed into doing something against your values. I would also wonder what other rigid, old fashioned ideas about gender and marriage he might be harboring, that he was previously okay with. [/quote]

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