Reply to Refusal to change your last name makes me question your committment!!

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Reply to "Refusal to change your last name makes me question your committment!!"

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[quote=Anonymous]You have to explore whether this is a surface fight masking a deeper issue, whether that's ambivalence about marriage or a decidedly old-fashioned bent or something else. I agree it's manipulative to be cool with it while dating, then spring it as a deal-breaker, but people can genuinely feel differently when confronted with a situation than they thought they would. If that's legit his explanation, then you will have to decide if it's a deal-breaker to you. You'll have to talk it out and balance the intensity of each person's feelings on the subject. Good practice for actual marriage.

My DH knew all along I was fairly adamant about not changing my name. We got engaged. He may have brought it up one time, and I shot it down. I'm NOT saying it would have been a deal-breaker for me, I honestly don't know because we didn't get to that point. I kept my name. The kids have his name, and I think he decided at some point that was most important to him. I use his last name socially on occasion, don't really go out of my way either way. Married 7 years, 3 kids, wayyyy bigger fish to fry these days anyway. :) [/quote]

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