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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op, you are still pretty young if your parents are in their 50's and 60's.

Good for you for wanting to be healthy.  Eat right, exercise, get enough sleep.  Stay away from drugs, alcohol and tobacco.

But realize...no matter how perfectly (or imperfectly) you do things, there are never any guarantees in life.    [/quote]

OP here. I know that what you have written is true. There are no guarantees, and I can't control others. I'm just venting because it's sad and upsetting to see loved ones in this condition. I thought these would be the "good times" with overnights and bouncing on knees like I had as a child.[/quote]

So is it sad and upsetting because they are not healthy and you feel bad seeing them that way, or is it sad and upsetting because they can't help you out like you expected?

My mother has lupus and my father eats horribly, like you describe. Neither is the help-out type of grandparent and that would be true even if they were healthy. I love them and my children love them and we spend what time with them we can. Yes, I wish my children could have the type of relationship with them that I had with my grandparents, in which we spent weeks at their house in the summers and went camping. But that wouldn't happen even if my parents were healthy. For one thing they had kids in their mid-30s, instead of at 20 like my grandparents did, so they are much older in relation to their grandchildren. For another, they have their own lives. My 72-year-old father still works. It is what it is. It's not my place to tell them how to live their lives and I am not going to resent them for living the way they want to. In fact, my main worry with them is that we can't do more to help out. My mom especially will need it as her disease advances.[/quote]

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