Reply to Struggling with husband's unwillingness to socialize

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[quote=Anonymous]I think both of you are being a bit extreme.  Maybe he is just introverted, but that doesn't mean his need for down time trumps your need for social connection.  I am an introvert myself and I agree that it is not fair to kids for either parent to dig in their heels and refuse to socialize. Yes, your kids can find their own friendships eventually, but they are robbed of having a village of adults they know and trust who can be mentors and examples to them.  For us, we have one area (church for our family) where we all make an effort to be social.  By opening myself up to that, we have made many friends who have become close enough that they are real friends and we can have meaningful conversations and have supported one another through various life changes.  My kids benefit a lot from those relationships but they only came about because I force myself out of my comfort zone once a week.

My advice for OP would be to address it directly and respectfully:  You need X amount of social time, he needs Y amount of solitude and the kids get benefits AB and C from family socialization.  Then come up with an explicit plan, e.g.:

You will go out with friends once a week.  (With kids or will you get a sitter)
He will go to X family-friendly group activity twice a month
You won't pester him to socialize outside of that.[/quote]

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