Reply to I feel like having a baby ruined my marriage

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Having a baby doesn't ruin your marriage, but it will certainly show you the cracks in it. All of the selfishness and lack of consideration that you could gloss over before because it wasn't a big deal suddenly comes out in spades when there's more being demanded of both of you and you can't both just abdicate responsibility. If your baby was just a few months old I'd say be kind to each other and give yourselves time to adjust, but after 14 months, I'd recommend marriage counseling. [/quote]
I agree with all of this.  [/quote]

What would you guys say is the cut off for being kind or going to counseling, 3 months? 6 months? A year? I'm a PP and also having issues but I'm not Op. [/quote]

There's no hard and fast rule, but I think one good guide is whether your baby is old enough to be sleeping through the night. Lack of sleep is a huge stressor, so if your baby is too young to sleep through, cur yourselves some slack. If your baby is old enough to sleep through but doesn't, consider sleep training (of whatever variety works for you) to take that piece out of the picture and see how,you're doing then.

Along with that, consider whether you two could talk about it and acknowledge that this is a tough stretch and you're not being your best to each other, but that it should get better once the baby gets a little older. If you can have that conversation and no one gets mad at each other, that's a good sign. If you can't have that conversation without one or both of you getting mad, or if you're afraid to have it at all, that's a sign to get some help.[/quote]

Agree with all of this with the caveat that if you have a SN kid, things may not settle after the kid starts STTN.[/quote]

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